This is a safe space where all genders, identities, neurodivergent minds, and lived experiences are honoured. You are welcome here exactly as you are.
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This is a safe space where all genders, identities, neurodivergent minds, and lived experiences are honoured. You are welcome here exactly as you are.
Most people think we overgive because we’re generous.
But for many of us – neurodivergent, heart-led, care-coded entrepreneurs – we overgive because we feel like we’re behind.
Behind in timelines.
Behind in energy.
Behind in business milestones.
Behind the version of ourselves we meant to be by now.
And when we feel behind, we try to make up for it.
We discount.
We overdeliver.
We apologise with our boundaries.
We offer more than we have, hoping it will close the gap between where we are… and where we should be.
But the truth?
This is not strategy.
It’s martyrdom in disguise.
And it’s a survival pattern that so many neurodivergent entrepreneurs know intimately – but rarely name.
We didn’t invent this fear. We inherited it.
From capitalism, that equates speed with success.
From ableism, that sees rest as laziness and slowness as incompetence.
From education systems that rewarded conformity and punished difference.
From online business culture that tells you, “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.”
And from lived experiences where:
So you internalised it.
“I’m behind.”
“I need to catch up.”
“I can’t ask for more – I already took too long.”
“They’re doing me a favour by working with me.”
“I need to prove I’m worth keeping around.”
That’s not a thought pattern.
That’s a trauma response.
Because we often live in a body-brain system that isn’t well supported by default business structures, we tend to:
So when we miss a deadline or fall out of rhythm, instead of regulating… we perform.
We try to fix it by doing more.
More access. More bonuses. More responsiveness.
More sacrifice, wrapped in a bow labelled “integrity.”
But here’s the truth:
Let’s name it – this pattern is sneaky:
|
BEHAVIOUR
|
WHAT'S REALLY HAPPENING
|
|---|---|
|
Overdelivering
|
“I was late, so I need to prove I’m worth it”
|
|
Undercharging
|
“They waited so long; I should lower the price”
|
|
Giving extras unprompted
|
“I want them to know I care, even if I messed up”
|
|
Pushing through burnout
|
“I haven’t earned a rest yet”
|
|
Being constantly available
|
“If I’m not fast, I’m not professional”
|
None of these come from alignment.
They come from fear.
From the myth that you’re already at a deficit, so you need to earn your way back to “deserving.”
It’s unsustainable.
It’s painful.
And it’s a lie.
Martyrdom is the mask we wear when we feel like we’ve already failed.
It says: I’ll make it up to you. Even if it breaks me.
But your business can’t be built on atonement.
It needs to be built on truth.
Your pace is not a problem.
Your work is not worth less because it took longer.
You do not owe anyone penance for being human.
You are not “lucky” to be here; you belong here.
Your worth does not expire when your capacity fluctuates.
You can stop overgiving now.
You’re not behind.
You’re just moving differently; and that’s allowed.
In the Anchor phase of the NeuroEnergetic Alchemy Method®, we begin with this question:
“What am I actually resourced to hold – today, in this body, with this brain?”
Because the more we override our own capacity, the more we build brittle systems that break us.
In Sustain, we don’t chase consistency.
We build infrastructure that allows for change, pause, recalibration.
You’re not falling behind.
You’re learning to lead from regulation; not guilt.
That is leadership.
That is liberation.
Here’s the permission slip no-one ever gave you:
Let the myth fall away.
You’re not late.
You’re just right on time – for your rhythm, your nervous system, your way of working.
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