When I Play Small, Everyone Loses

Photo credit: Epic merch from Lindsay McGlone

When I Play Small, Everyone Loses

Last week at The Big Festoon, Dani Wallace said something that she has said thousands of times before:

“We all do well, when we all do well.”

It hit different this time though, it landed like a truth bomb and a mirror.

Because if that’s true – if our thriving is interconnected – then every time I play small, doubt my power, or hide behind “humility”… I’m not just holding myself back.

I’m holding us back.

The Hidden Cost of Shrinking

For years I’ve softened my edges, explained my ideas three different ways, and translated my power into something more “digestible.”

I told myself it was kindness – accessibility, even.

But underneath, it was fear.

Fear of being too much, too intense, too different.

And yet, my entire body of work – The NeuroEnergetic Alchemy Method® – exists because the world needs different.

It’s built on the idea that your energy, your rhythm, your way of working isn’t a flaw to be fixed; it’s the architecture of your brilliance.

When I hide that truth, when I dilute my own fire, I’m teaching others to do the same.

That’s not service. That’s self-abandonment disguised as professionalism.

The Turning Point

This is the year I stop fucking playing small.

The year my boundaries are rock solid.

The year I own my expertise without apology.

I’m done diluting myself to make other people comfortable.

I’m done pretending I don’t know what I know.

If I’m not for you, that’s okay – there’s an open door.

But I won’t apologise for being absolutely fucking awesome anymore.

When I stop second-guessing, everything tightens into focus.

My voice hits differently – not because it’s louder, but because it’s clear.

My clients regulate faster, because I’m no longer wobbling in self-doubt.

My systems feel lighter, because they’re built from truth, not from proving.

When I play small, I create confusion.

When I own my rhythm, I create coherence.

This isn’t arrogance – it’s alignment.

And it’s long overdue.

The Ripple Effect

Let’s sit with Dani’s line again:

We all do well, when we all do well.

If that’s true, then hiding my brilliance doesn’t protect anyone; it withholds permission from everyone.

When I rise, I make space for others to rise.

When I take up space, I create space.

Every time I share honestly about my energy, my process, or my limits, it gives someone else permission to stop masking theirs.

Every time I choose rest over hustle, I model sustainability.

Every time I speak the truth of what actually works for neurodivergent entrepreneurs, I build safety for someone else’s nervous system.

That’s what collective thriving looks like.

The New Standard

This isn’t about chasing visibility for the sake of it.
It’s about truth.
It’s about coherence.
It’s about showing what leadership looks like when it’s built from regulation, not adrenaline.

I’m done pretending that playing small keeps things safe.
It doesn’t. It keeps things stagnant.

So here’s what’s changing next:
I’m going to share more boldly.
Teach more directly.
Create from the centre of my fire; not the edges of my comfort.

Not because I want attention.

Because I want freedom – for all of us.

When I rise in truth, we all rise.

We all do well, when we all do well...

…and I’m finally ready to stop getting in the way of that.